The Stoneslide

Jonathan

Jonathan is considering changing his name. When he tells people this, they often suggest he also change his face and his personality. He longs for the anonymity of a bit of data stored on a floppy disk that has begun to rot and, beside that, can no longer be read by any functioning drive. He will soon have to repair the cats' climbing structure. If you are reading this, he did not forget to press Submit before wandering off.

Recent writings:

    I Consent to Be Bound

    By 

    Language taken from various contracts I agreed to without first reading.

    You must collect and use my personal data
    You use my connections, preferences, interests, and activities
    You log when I’m using and have last used your Products
    Your partners provide information about my activities
    Your automated systems analyze my content

    You also collect the content I create
    I grant you a worldwide, royalty-free intellectual property license
    You may use my feedback or suggestions without obligation
    I may not be able to retrieve my Content
    You will not be liable for any loss or damage

    I am entering into a binding contract
    I agree to cooperate with you
    I may not disassemble, decompile, decrypt, hack, emulate, exploit
    My devices must meet the minimum system requirements
    I use the Service at my own risk [Read more…]

    Golf, Explained

    By 

    President Trump loves to play golf. He’s spent more time on the course than any other president at this point in his first term. The question is why. Understanding a man’s loves tells you something he’d probably rather you didn’t know.

    Golf could be beautiful. A walk through swathes of green, extending for miles, like a recreation of the fields and meadows sung about by poets when poets still knew how to play the lute. The game itself adds a point of concentration within the ungovernable elements, an intermittent narrowing of awareness to how to align all the force one can muster toward a quick impact. There’s a joy in perfecting such a skill, no matter how inconsequential.

    But look at how golf is actually played by Trump. [Read more…]

    Message from the Smartphone Promotion Association

    By 

    The invention of the smartphone has generated at least 300,000 jobs in America. These are good jobs that can’t be offshored and provide a good living for our citizens. The top categories of smartphone-created jobs include:

    • marriage counselors
    • oncologists
    • tow truck drivers and ambulance crews

Contributors

Tia Creighton

Sam Holloway

Christopher Wachlin

Erica Gingerich

Jonathan Whithe

with occasional emails from us